Hoy family on grief after twin boys were born still

Family love: Jacqueline and Jonathon Hoy with their boys Lachlan, Edward (holding a photo of twins William and Henry) and Alexander. Photo: Kirsty Fikkers Photography.

Family love: Jacqueline and Jonathon Hoy with their boys Lachlan, Edward (holding a photo of twins William and Henry) and Alexander. Photo: Kirsty Fikkers Photography.

Jacqueline and Jonathon Hoy will forever carry two holes in their hearts after their twin boys were born still in 2017.

The Port Macquarie family, on NSW's North Coast, have learnt how to carry on through the horrific grief, which impacted every facet of their lives, three years on from the tragedy.

Jacqueline visits her perfect angels William and Henry once a week where they lie at the Innes Gardens Memorial Park.

Alexander, who was born the year after his twin brothers, often attends the grounds with his mother.

Jacqueline said he regularly asks about his older brothers.

Lachlan and Edward are the Hoys' older children and they have both dealt with the loss of the twins in their own ways.

Jacqueline credited her family and friends as being a supportive network they can turn to.

Jacqueline would often struggle to complete day to day tasks in the initial dark days after the twins were born still .

These included having a shower and receiving mail from the front of their house.

Her husband Jonathon, who is also a medical profession, was her rock.

"He would physically get me up and take me outside," she said.

Jacqueline find it hard to adjust to life as normal as it felt like her world had fallen upside down.

The small steps developed into bigger ones and eventually Jacqueline was able to feel grounded again.

She said her boys motivated her to be strong.

Over time Jacqueline has discovered she doesn't have to feel sadness to connect to William and Henry.

"It doesn't matter what you do, you're always going to be connected because they are your children," she said.

Jacqueline urges people to seek professional help for counselling if they have experienced the tragic loss of a child.

The Hoys are ambassadors for the Stillbirth Foundation Australia and have worked hard to encourage people to open the conversation about the difficult subject.

According to the foundation, every day six babies will die in their mother's womb and be stillborn and in 40 per cent of cases the cause is unknown.

Jacqueline is hopeful one day there will be answers for families as to why it happens and what can be done to prevent the tragic incident.

"If it happened so easily to us, it can happen to others too," she said.

Jacqueline worked with another ambassador to set up an online networking forum for parents who are suffering from the tragic loss of their baby to stillbirth.

If you have experienced a stillbirth tragedy and want to connect to others for support visit the Stillbirth Foundation Parents page on Facebook.

For crisis support, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. The service is available across 24 hours.

This story Learning to live with grief after tragedy strikes first appeared on Port Macquarie News.